Written by: Julian Rose - Vidette blogger and ISU student
“How are you single?! I don’t understand! Anyone would be lucky to have you! You’re the whole package!” And you are seriously offensive.
I’ve had this thought so many times while people have asked me why or how I am single. They think it’s a compliment. I mean, they’re just innocently wondering how someone can be without a significant other, and how I haven’t allowed a suitor to call me their own.
The thing is, its not a compliment. By asking that question, however innocent the intentions, you’re implying that something is wrong because I am not in a relationship. Its as if you’re asking, “what could be wrong with you that I don’t see?”
Just because someone is not in a relationship, conventional or not, does not mean there is something wrong with them. I am not damaged goods. I am choosing to be single. In fact, everyone who is not in a relationship is choosing to be single. They are choosing to not allow themselves to be with someone who isn’t right for them. They are waiting to be with someone who is the best option, instead of the only option. And that is something to be proud of.
So next time you’re looking to pay a single person a compliment, please think again. Compliment their excellent dart throwing ability, or their vast knowledge of all things hockey. Commend them on their wonderful singing voice, or their impressive collection of stamps. Praise them on their athletic abilities that have won them trophies. Admire them aloud for their passions, their dreams, their accomplishments and maybe their good looks. But don’t insult them by asking why they are single. Leave that to the overbearing elderly family members.
Or, if they’re the gender you prefer, you could just, you know, ask them out.